Fourteen

"Mr. Bannister," said Brian. "I need to wear something, quick."

"I'm sorry, Brian," said Mr. Bannister. "I have nothing for you to wear I would call quick. I have no rapid clothing.

"No, no, I need something to wear right now," said Brian. "My need to dress is nigh."

"I have a pair of swim shorts you can wear until you get home," said Mr. Bannister.

"I'm real sorry, Mr. Bannister," said Brian. "About giving the coupon fairies your name. I had no idea they would steal your will with fairy food and swap you their doofus impostor for your baby."

"Why, yes, Brian," said Mr. Bannister. "And you don't have to worry the coupon fairies will take you away either. No one can say I've volunteered your name. I would never consider sacrificing you like you sacrificed my baby. Like you sacrificed my family."

"I appreciate that, Mr. Bannister," said Brian. "I guess. So, where is Mrs. Bannister?"

"She went to an exercise class," said Mr. Bannister. "Oh, she should be home any minute now. She'll be famished."

"No, Mr. Bannister," said Brian. "Please fight the urge to feed Mrs. Bannister any fairy food."

"Hello? I'm home," said Mrs. Bannister. "I'm famished. I'm ready to finish the rest of this food you left out."

"Stop," said Brian. "I'll be right back, Mrs. Bannister. Don't eat anything. Just hang tight until I fix my life."

"Did anyone at class try your brownies?" said Mr. Bannister.

"Why, no," said Mrs. Bannister. "They wouldn't stop their silly aerobics. Everyone made pathetic excuses about their diets."

"No, Mrs. Bannister," said Brian. "I only need to make a quick trade for my parents back. Please don't feed anyone fairy food while I'm gone."

"Brian, of course we'll feed as many people as we can," said Mrs. Bannister. "That's what all of this food is for. Say, is that some mustard you got yourself there? Maybe you should be careful with such a tangy hot sauce and so little room in this kitchen left to make a spill in."

"Aw, Brian," said Mr. Bannister. "What did you have to go and ruin all this cursed food and drink for?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Bannister," said Brian. "Please don't enthrall anyone else until I get back."

"What a shame all this enchanted food is spoiled now," said Mrs. Bannister.

"And after those fairies laid so many eggs to bake them," said Mr. Bannister.