Seven

Brian spent his week trying to silence rumors he was diagnosed as some kind of crazy banana boy obliged to return to the zoo when he was not at school. But when he discovered the mischief his parents stumbled into, he then wondered why he even bothered.

"Tenth caller, this is Hubert P. Mimbleshaw," said the voice from the wireless. "With whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?"

"It is Spot," the little dog said into the phone. "I am the King of the World."

"What do you people think you're doing?" said Brian. "Don't you know to keep the dog from calling the live broadcasts?"

"Relax, Brian," said his mother. "There's no call. The dog is only pretending. Tell me how that isn't funny."

"This dog is remarkable," said Brian's father. "He mimics a speaking voice. Almost like he talks for real. Did you say he's from the circus?"

"He's so adorable," said Brian's mother. "Like when you were the happiest baby in the world babbling to the nummy sounds your grandma sent over the phone."

"We took relief from the least sign of intelligence from you," said Brian's father.

"He says he's the King of the World," said Brian's mother. "I love it. You know, maybe it wouldn't be so terrible if his owners never claim him."

"Bertie," said a second broadcast voice. "This is Susan."

"Susan," said the announcer. "Can you tell me the name of the dog elected mayor of Sunol, California?"

"Yes, I believe his name was Bosco," said Susan. "He was a Black Labrador."

"Are you sitting down, Susan?" said the announcer. "Can you make eye contact with someone to catch you? Because you are the winner of our kitten photo calendar."

"—shrill," said Susan.